Life Over the Edge

We can complain that rose bushes have thorns, or we can rejoice that thorn bushes have roses.

~~Abraham Lincoln

At some point after dealing with the diagnosis of a chronic illness there is a sense of loss.  We look at what we have lost in our lives–we look at the things we can no longer do, eat, experience, etc.  Feelings of loss are normal and are a part of the grieving process that is common after being diagnosed with a chronic illness.  After a certain period of time, many people move on from this feeling, while for others, the feeling of loss can linger for months and years.  There is a tendency for some to remain focused on the negative in their lives.  They often see the glass as half-empty, rather than half-full.  Or see the rose bush as full of thorns.  Feelings of bitterness and resentment can develop after long periods of seeing their “new” lives only filled with pain and loss.

Don’t get me wrong!  Chronic illnesses and conditions are very scary, frustrating,  and debilitating–Life becomes a great challenge at every level.  I know this first hand.  Chronic illness and conditions take away much of Life we have enjoyed up to that point where we became ill and were diagnosed.  It’s OK and necessary to grieve this loss.  Even so, we need to have a change of heart–accept our illnesses and conditions–and somehow try to gain a vision of Life as a half-full glass, rather than as a half-empty glass, or rejoicing that the thorn bush has roses.  Moving from the negative view to the more positive view is a process that takes time and a will to change.

I was pretty horrified when first diagnosed with all my allergies and asthma. That was like a nightmare come true.  The allergist’s letter was long and full of things I had to avoid completely-including some very favorite foods, animals I love, etc.  It felt as if someone had turned my world completely upside down.  To top it off, I wasn’t given much direction in how to proceed with this “new” life of avoiding allergens and taking care of asthma!  I felt as if most everything I enjoyed and loved in my life was taken away.  The natural reaction for anyone in that position is to panic, and then begin the grieving process, and try to learn how to manage in this new life.

For a long time, I had a very negative view of my new life.  I truly saw the glass as half-empty, and the rose bush full of thorns.  I went through this for a quite while, until I finally began to learn how to live and manage my allergies and asthma. Then the new “normal” set in, and Life began to look up again.  And I began to look and see what I still had left in my life…what I could still do…what I could still eat…and also began to explore new alternatives to the old things I used to enjoy.  Eventually, I began to see that I still had so much left in my life that I could enjoy–that wasn’t “taken away from me!”  It took me a while to get to this point, but eventually I did.  And my life became so much better for learning to see the glass as half-full rather than half-empty–and to see the thorn bush is truly filled with beautiful roses!

Learning to see the positives in our “new” life is a learning process that truly begins to help us to see what we are still able to do and have in our lives.  And sometimes, having this more positive outlook takes us into new areas–new areas to explore within ourselves…new directions and opportunities–the sky’s the limit!  But it’s first necessary to make the effort to have a more positive attitude–and to see the glass is really half-full, and that roses are blooming amidst the thorns. When you can see the beautiful roses midst the thorns, then you can explore more ways to fill your life up completely!  I’m still in this process…and enjoying every minute!